Last Day: Boston

Did practically nothing on what was our last full day in these here States except enjoy the hotel and then go out to go and see Bruce Springsteen – which is quite a way to go out. We did venture out of our hotel for a wee while to get some breakfast in the city, but after eating way too much (and it was raining hard) we decided to simply go back and wait for The Boss gig to come round.


Springsteen is one of the few legends I am yet to see and was well worth waiting for. He opened with ‘Badlands’ (Bri, you would have loved it!) and played what was more of a hardcore fans’ set rather than casual, but was ace nevertheless. ‘Born To Run’, ‘Tenth Avenue Freeze Out’ and ‘Rosie Come Out Tonight’ were bang-on, but the 30-odd stone bloke who literally ran around the back of the arena dancing, singing and geeing everyone up was just hilarious. Shame he didn’t play ‘Thunder Road’ or ‘Glory Days’ but you can’t have everything. Didn’t get many pictures as they weren’t letting you take any (although I sneaked one or two in). We grabbed some stuff in the 7-Eleven (which was full of young homeless people, younger than me perhaps) and then jumped on “The T” back to the airport one last time.

An early start awaits tomorrow followed by a 4000 or so mile journey from here, down to NYC on the train and then back to Heathrow. Looking forward to getting back home and then on to Lincoln to see everyone again in the next few weeks as it feels so long. To use the old cliché; we truly did have the time of our lives over here. Immense country, immense culture(s), immense people it’s as simple as that. There’s no way in summing up the sights and experiences in words, but they are all places everyone should visit at some point in their lives (especially NYC, Philadelphia, Niagara Fall and Boston in my opinion). Think we’ll come over here again sometime, perhaps to the west coast, because although we covered a lot of miles, we’ve consumed but a tiny chunk of this great land and I feel like I’ve only just eaten starters! See you all soon.

Day 20/21/22 Boston

Because we're staying with the Hilton we've had no free internet access for the last three days (and there's no way I'm paying $15 just to get online), so now i've got somewhere to go on for fee, here's what we've been up to for the last three days:

Day 20 Buffalo to Boston


Big day of travelling today. Got up, got taxi, got train to Boston from Buffalo. We paid a wee bit extra and got upgraded to one of Amtrak’s ‘Viewliner Roomette’s’ which are basically tiny private rooms that can transform into a bedroom. Nice to have some privacy though for the first part of the journey, although the toilet in the tiny room was just odd and unjustified (why anyone would have a crap so close to their bed I don’t know).


Not a lot to say about the first part of the journey. New York State is fairly unremarkable – just miles and miles of farmland interspersed with small industrial cities such as Rochester and Schenectady. Got fed and that as part of the ticket price and also got talking to a nice bloke and his kid from just up the road from us in Clacton about America, how big everything is and football of course (as I write this I don’t know the FA Cup scores still).


We had to stop in Albany for a little while (which looks pretty) where we had to board a bus to Boston due to track repairs. Bizarrely the replacement bus took three hours less than the train. How this works I don’t know. The journey into Massachusetts was fantastic – a really scenic state from what we saw.

We’ve had to check-in to an airport hotel as everything is sold out thanks to all the marathon runners who have booked in for the next few days. We’re only 15 minutes from the centre though (and the Hilton here is massive, with an ace view of the skyline out the window), which we’ll go and discover tomorrow.

Day 21 Boston

We seem to have gotten lucky with these hotels. The view out of the window of downtown Boston’s skyline is excellent and although we are staying at the airport, we are only two Subway stops from the middle of town.


We caught the free shuttle bus from the hotel to the Subway station and headed straight for the New England Aquarium to buy tickets to go whale watching tomorrow, which is something I have always wanted to do. We then took a walk across the road to the impressive Faneuil Hall marketplace for breakfast, which is like a giant version of Covent Garden boasting millions of restaurants and shops as well as street performers (I could have sat here all day and been happy).


Had to go and see the city though as it looks as though there is a lot of history here. From the travel writing stuff I do, I knew that the best way to take in all the important points of interest is by following ‘The Freedom Trail ‘ – a three-mile red route that makes it easy to navigate all the historical stuff. We started on the pretty Boston Common and then took in the Granary Burial Ground (where Samuel Adams, Mother Goose and signers of the Declaration of Independence are buried) as well as the Old State House, which was where the Boston Massacre happened.


Ate in a pub called ‘The Green Dragon’ which is as English as it sounds and is probably the only bar in Boston not to be Irish themed. Wish I’d got the fresh lobster (cheap and freshly caught in these parts) instead of the fried fish and also wish that I hadn’t drank so much of the drink we were to buy after being in the pub. I’ve barely touched a drop since arriving and the bottle of Smirnoff and Budwesier’s I caned in the hotel left me worse for wear before we went to see Kings of Leon. The mood was high though when I found out that Ipswich had just beaten Norwich and pushed them towards relegation!


Anyway, the gig.... Never seen those Kings of Leon chaps do a bad gig ever and tonight was no different. It seems like they’ve only just got big over here, as the American’s only went truly off their tits for ‘Sex on Fire’ and ‘Use Somebody’. I was worried that they were only going to play the tunes the American’s were into, but they rattled off all the old classics like ‘Molly’s Chambers’, ‘Red Morning Light’, ‘Four Kicks’ and my favourite K.O.L tune ‘California Waiting’. Cracking gig, but strange venue (a whole arena used for university events!!!) that’d only serve one beer per person (which was probably a good thing in my case).

Trundled back on to the train with a hangover already kicking in before I’d even gone to sleep for the night. Proper shitty feeling that probably won’t be helped by getting on the boat tomorrow.

Day 22 Boston

Yup, woke up with a rotten headache and shitty hangover this morning that had already started eight hours previously. I’ve not missed drinking at all and completely regretted every drop consumed from the moment I opened my eyes.


It was only the excitement of going whale watching that got me out of bed early today. Started the same way as yesterday by getting some breakfast from Faneuil Hall before going back to New England Aquarium to board the huge catamaran which took us 30 miles east of Boston and onto the North Atlantic Ocean where I witnessed one of the greatest sights I have ever, ever seen.


After speeding out of Boston Harbour (doing my hangover no favours) the boat slowed down and there before us where Humpback Whales dipping in and out of the water. Couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing, it was truly awesome (and truly freezing). The whole tour cost just $40 and lasted about four hours. It was so good we might go and do it again tomorrow (although the weather is supposed to be crap). I think this may have been the highlight of a holiday full of highlights.


I stood outside at the front leg of the catamaran as we sped back towards the city, which looked awesome as we got closer and closer (and managed to rid me of my hangover). We jumped off the boat and decided we’d finish off the rest of the Freedom Trail that was left over from yesterday.


First we had to walk over the Charlestown Bridge which was shit scary (as you can see the water through the gridded walkway beneath your feet) before we reached the famous Bunker Hill Monument, where one of the most fiercest battles of the American Revolution took place in the 1700s. From here I managed to get us lost which was annoying (all I had to do was follow the red line around the city), but eventually we managed to find the also famous USS Constitution in the Charlestown Naval Yard. Wasn’t that impressed by the ship to tell the truth, likewise the WWII battleship parked next door.


After doing too much walking, we jumped on the ferry to take us back to the aquarium where we once again ate at Faneuil Hall (lobster sandwich, ace) before taking the Subway to get back to the hotel for an early night before we start our last full day of the holiday. I’ve got to the point where I am sad to be leaving, but looking forward to getting home.

Day 19: Niagara Falls to Buffalo (well Cheektowaga)

Not a lot to report today. We left that ace hotel in Niagara Falls early (probably too early) and ended up waiting an hour and a half for the train. We expected today’s border crossing back into the USA to be a pain in the arse and we weren’t let down. Of the many people on the train, customs decided out of the three or four to pull off for ‘inspection’ it just had to be me and Small Irish.

They pulled us off the train and took us into their little ‘Homeland Security Centre’ to ask us a load of questions. Their officials were more like robots and wanted to know our every movement since landing, where we were going next and all that other bollocks they get paranoid about. It then took them a whole two hours to check the whole train, everybody’s passports and all that crap for what was just a 40 minute train journey. I kind of wish I’d made it worth their while by packing anthrax, heroin and some AK47’s instead of my dirty linen, sweets and this here laptop (well maybe not).


Got to Buffalo in three hours instead of the 40 it should have done. Problem is, we’re not actually in Buffalo, we are in a really remote part called Cheektowaga. The train dumped us at this almost abandoned station where there were no cash machines (and I spent our $$$ on hot dogs) meaning we’d have to walk the mile and a half with our ridiculously massive luggage. That sucked balls.


Anyway, when we got the hotel we were well impressed. Some Hilton ‘Homewood’ place, where the rooms are built like apartments. So currently I have got my (sweaty) feet up in the lounge area enjoying my favourite all-time cereal (that disappeared from the UK years ago) Frosted Lucky Charms (they’re magically delicious!). Ventured out of the hotel to go and take a peek at this supermarket place to do some stocking-up. I like American supermarkets, they are big and have massive bags of stuff dead cheep. Some things are just stupid though. For $5 you can buy strawberry laces weighing almost half a stone. Unreal, no wonder there are so many fat-uns about. Boston tomorrow though (after a 12 hour journey), which will be out last new place to visit before we come back home.

Day 18: Niagara Falls

Had a nice big lie-in this morning to kick the day off and was woken by the stifling heat of the sun coming through the big windows. Always nice though to squint the eyes and have Niagara Falls staring back at you. We’ll definitely miss this ace hotel and those views. You could come to Niagara and just sit in your room all day looking at them, they are truly mesmerising!


Anyways, we finally got out of the room and grabbed some breakfast before noticing a massive queue of tourists trying to get tickets for something at the Casino Theatre. Turned out it was a Motown show, which is right up our alley. Being the impatient sort who doesn’t do queuing, I suggested we go back to the hotel and book them on the good old internet rather than wait. Got the two without problem and came back to the theatre again and sailed straight in.

Then, the oddest thing happened. As the place started to fill up, we quickly realised that it was only old folks attending the show and when I mean old, I mean 70s, 80s, probably even 90 year old dodders settling down for a bit of soul (as old people have souls too you see?). It was pretty funny, but sad at the same time watching the poor old loves having to get up and leave the aisle every time someone wanted in after making mammoth efforts to get sat down in the first place. I don’t want to get old, it looks shit scary.



So, this Motown show; fanfuckingtastic as the Queen Mother used to say. You got a full live band, eight or so singers who collectively proper nailed the classics. Proper nailed. I think I’ve been lucky enough to see the biggest and best acts in the world live (in my humble opinion), but oddly this £20 show was right up there with the best. You can’t beat a bit of soul done properly though can you? Unforgettable stuff. Sadly we weren’t allowed to take pictures in there. I came to the conclusion that they must be covering themselves in the event electrical equipment interfered with pacemakers. One of the best bits was when the singers came into the crowd to pick audience members out to dance with. Poor Small Irish had the same look of dread on her face as I’d imagine a poor Jewish person had when ze German Gestapo were banging on the door (I’m not comparing a Motown musical to the abhorrent Holocaust here by the way folks just to make that clear!). She got away unscathed anyway. Instead the singers picked out some old ladies (as there wasn’t much of an alternative) and turned the aisles into something resembling Marvin Gaye turning up at an elderly home for a dance and a sing.


Anyways, everyone went home happy (maybe except the poor souls with dementia who would have classed the show as forgettable) and we headed to the Skylon observation tower to get a view of the Falls from above. It’s up here you truly become aware of just how special they are. A true wonder everyone must go and see at some point in their lives. The staff liked pushing the meals in there though. I think we got three or four people telling us about the restaurant up there (you can’t miss it, it’s advertised all around town) which we kindly knocked back each time. The elevator shot us up to the top (via the restaurant obviously), with the only way to get the elevator down to go through the restaurant again (naturally).

Instead of some gourmet dining with spectacular views, I took small Irish to one of them Johnny Rockets (again) for mediocre burgers (again) and a fine view of fat American tourists instead of that natural wonder thing I keep referring to.


Belly’s full, we headed back to the hotel to have a bit of a relax, where we were treated to some proper shite American TV programme giving us all the info on what’s hot and what’s not in celebrity land. Who is this Scottish woman (who looks like a man) who sang on Britain’s Got Talent? The Yanks are going mental for her and have already set her up for a makeover or something stupid and made her sing over videophone making one of the presenters cry. Saying that, I have felt like crying at American TV at several points during this trek.

Took a walk outside the hotel and around Niagara Falls to see them lit up by night for one last time before packing the bags to cross back into the States tomorrow. Buffalo up next for a stopover before we make the long journey to Boston. Don’t know much about the place other than Buffalo wings, which as a greedy sort is no surprise.

Day 17: Niagara Falls

Woke at 7am to see the sun rising over Niagara Falls out of the window, a sight I’ll never forget. After getting up and getting dressed we went to an ‘All You Can Eat Breakfast Buffet’ – a taste I’ll never forget. Pure filth would be a good way of putting it. It was the usual cooked breakfast fayre, but just tasted of pure fat and artificial crap. They should have paid us for eating in there.

Anyway, with it being a nice day, we tentatively made our way to the entrance for the ‘Maid of the Mist’ boat trip which takes you into the heart of the falls. The only problem with wanting to do Niagara’s main attraction is they’re not opening it until April 25. Tits. Bit of a shit-out after the website said ‘open from April’.


Feeling a bit deflated, we headed back to the hotel to look on t’internet at what was actually open here. Turns out it was just the Maid of the Mist that’s shut, so not a total disaster. So what do you do when you’ve got one of the world’s great wonders outside your hotel door? Have a kip of course. I remember watching a bit of the ode Bernie Mac and then waking up some time in the afternoon (perhaps the breakfast had Rohypnol in it?). I think I could have slept until the next morning. This trek hasn’t been that relaxing in all honesty as we’ve been busy and on the move every day; there’s too much to see over here that we may never see again.


Finally got myself back out of bed and we headed on the world’s shortest train journey. Next to our hotel there is this red carriage thing that goes down a steep slope on railway track and lasts for about 30 seconds. Was worth it though as I was still half asleep. On arrival we headed into the Table Rock visitors centre and bought some tickets to enable us to walk behind the falls. At first it was pretty lame truth be told, as the inlets just looked like windows that were being soaked by heavy rain. However, this changed with the observation part of the tunnel, which looked right out across to the American Falls and was right next to the powerful Horseshoe Falls, enabling you to look deep into the rocks at the bottom which the water crashes down onto.


From here, we decided to walk along the falls and up to the town part itself. Had a walk through the ‘Secret Garden’ (which obviously isn’t that secret if we found it), before having our eyes lit up by the duty free shop that lies on the border entry to the USA (you can see America out the window, which is joined by a bridge about a mile from the falls). After having our pants pulled down continually on drink prices over here, we were getting a bit carried away by the prices (a litre of Jim Beam - £6 etc), that was until they told us we couldn’t have any if travelling by train!?? Don’t know how that works, as we’re still crossing the border, right!?


The opposite end of the town away from the casino and the hotels is basically Skegness/Southend with a view. Millions of tat shops, crappy wax museums, dodgy rides and other examples of typically British seaside paraphernalia sort of cheapened the magic of Niagara Falls a little bit in my opinion (and that’s not me slagging Skeg or Southend, I love both of them).


Night time was coming and we’d decided to go to the rather plush looking casino after getting something to eat. Just like Toronto, we’re having trouble find off licences and even had to go to the measure of finding one on the internet. Odd that. Found one a mile away, got supplies and then went to get something to eat in some steak and ribs place joined on to the hotel. The casino idea was well and truly out of the window when I saw they did ‘All You Can Eat Ribs’. Nice one. Obviously I hadn’t learned from this morning’s all you can eat disaster, but you just can’t turn down the ribs can you? Managed two full racks ta very much, but didn’t feel greedy at all when the waitress told me there was one bloke who managed 78 racks plus sides. If he was in there, I don’t know whether I would shake his hand or look at him with that ‘you sicken me’ face. Anyway, they were ace and that was me for the night.

Day 16: Toronto to Niagara Falls

Our train down to Niagara Falls wasn’t until evening time, so we had a fair bit of time to kill during the day. Got up, checked out and lugged our bags down to a baggage hold in Union Station before jumping on the ferry over to Toronto Island.


Indeed, we did get the best views of the city’s skyline from here, but it was the near untainted beauty of this remote offshore part of Toronto that impressed the most. There was next to nobody there and at first it felt like we’d landed on the set of the Wicker Man or something, half expecting to be ambushed at some point and burnt at the stake in some sort of bizarre islander ritual. As you can guess, that didn’t happen. We wandered around the deserted island for a bit to get some snaps of the skyline and wandered to the other side where Lake Ontario was waiting. This place would be even better in the summer though as the wind was blowing a freezing intolerable gale into our faces.

With three hours still to kill, we headed to that Eaton Centre again and browsed at the shops, moaning in each about how expensive everything is over here and then headed back to the station (again). To be honest, the time we have spent in Toronto was easily enough to take the city in. In all honesty, I found the place underwhelming at times. There’s no defining character in the place compared to say NYC, Philly, Manchester, Glasgow, Liverpool etc....you know what I mean. Those cities have real soul; Toronto has spirit, but no soul.


Train journey was nice though, no hassle. They line you up and board you on trains here like you would at an airport which is kind of weird, but cuts out the bother of legging it for the train like you do at Kings Cross with 200 other commuters. It was weird seeing the Toronto skyline become an identifiable dot on the horizon as we rounded the lake. Saw the Skylon Tower thing, which marked our arrival at Niagara Falls.


Didn’t actually see them until the taxi approached the hotel, but within seconds of seeing them you could tell there was magic here. Our hotel is the best yet. Some Radisson gaff, but the view out of the window (see picture) is quite something. A few months ago we paid £60 to stay in this proper dive in Kings Cross, for the same money (once you do conversion) you have a proper bang-on hotel, ace rooms, cable TV and one of the world’s true wonders waiting outside your window. Took a quick walk out into the streets after checking in . This place is what I’d imagine a mini Vegas to be: Lights everywhere, casinos, garish buildings and overfed people (myself included). I like it. Can’t wait for tomorrow.

Day 15: Toronto

So, today was our last full day in Toronto. Began it by heading to this Kensington Market all the various tour guides we got hold of have recommended. We trawled through Chinatown first in the freezing cold to get to it. It was alright, nowt special. A handful of shops selling tat and the rest those second-hand/vintage clothes shops that attract people with too many piercings/tattoos/dyed hair/bad fashion sense (doesn’t narrow much down for Toronto then).


Jumped on one of their trams to the Subway and then made the mammoth journey right across the city to Toronto Zoo, which is actually in a place called Scarborough. Thought this would take 10 minutes, but took an eternity, but the journey was worth it. Scarborough here has nothing in common with the one we all know, there’s far more high-rise flats and the like.


What can you say about a visit to a zoo!? List all the animals we saw one by one!? Nah. The zoo had the usual array of gorillas, elephants, snakes and all that, but they did have some of Canada’s very own Grizzly Bears which were quite a sight to see.


We were going to jump on the ferry across to Toronto Island to get the best views of the skyline, but were a bit knackered so dropped into the hotel for a bit (Dog the Bounty Hunter was on again naturally), before heading out again. Bit of a waste of time, the ferries didn’t look like they were running and if they were; it looked as though we would have been the only ones getting on it and heading to the island in complete darkness. No thanks. Had a bit of a dander about and then went back to the hotel...Dog the Bounty Hunter was on again. Dear me. Moving on to them Niagara Falls tomorrow, they’ve got to be better to look at than Dog’s wife with the ridiculous tats.

Day 14: Toronto

Got up fairly early today on what was a beautifully clear (but fooking freezing) day and went straight to the CN Tower, where (as I suspected) we wouldn’t have to wait the 75 minutes we were quoted yesterday. After getting past the predictable $20 photo person, we were up 120 odd storeys in a minute. I take back what I said about the CN Tower not being a patch on the Empire State Building – the CN Tower is actually over 100 metres taller!


What a view you get when you’re up there too! Could see right across Lake Ontario and way out past this huge city’s boundaries and into the sticks as far as they eye could see. Went up another 20 odd stories to the ‘Skypod’ thing which they reckon is the highest observation point on this here Earth. Hard to explain those sorts of views, but unforgettable would be a good word to begin to describe them. We then dropped a couple of levels to find a glass floor which looks straight down to the ground, which you can walk across. They say the glass can take the weight of 40-odd hippos (so I was ok, just), but it was strangely a very hard thing to step on to. Got there in the end and even braved lying down on it (although I looked a proper tit).


It’s Easter Sunday here (well, as it is around the entire globe like) and everything was shut. Didn’t find that out until we headed for that massive Eaton Centre, where only one shop (Sears; like Debenhams but not as good) was open and a handful of eateries. Grabbed something quick to scoff on and decided to spend the afternoon trying to polish off all that alcohol we had to trek for last night back in the hotel.


By five we were out and about again to get down to the Air Canada Centre to watch the basketball game we got tickets for. What I know about the game can be written on a postage stamp (Dennis Rodman was a cross-dressing drug addict, Michael Jordan had his own trainers, Shaquille O’Neal is a big bastard and lastly, England aren’t any good at it), but this didn’t stop us having a top night taking in one of North America’s most-loved sports.


It’s obvious very quickly that American sports are a completely different ball game to that football game I like a lot in our fair land. Firstly, the Toronto Raptors (who are obviously Canadian) were taking on the Philadelphia 76ers (who as you probably know are American) and on came the respective national anthems..... nobody booed!!! What’s that about!? They applauded each anthem in fact!? Could you imagine that happening between English and Scottish teams for example, or for that matter, when England are playing any country on the globe, no matter who they are!? Come on Canadian’s/American’s; boo the anthems, show some disrespect!


The Toronto Raptors are doing pretty shit looking at the league table (or standings as you call them here) but every player got his own personal spot-lit introduction to which everyone cheered. My team Ipswich are doing very badly in their league too and if this ceremony was to take place, you would guarantee each one of those players would receive a fine slagging. Recommendation 2: Do this to your underachieving players.


Also, what I noticed is that the crowd get excited about the strangest things – namely getting prizes dished out to them during the game ($7500 was dished out, flatscreen tv’s, holidays etc),; mainly t-shirts. When they came to each block to throw them out, people were going absolutely mental and annoyingly blocking my view of the game. After they got a semi about this, this got them chanting. Sadly their crowd chants existed of just “let’s go Raptors” and “de-fense!” Point 3: Introduce English-style vile terrace chants. What about a bit of “you’re gonna get your f**king head kicked in” or “you dirty (insert nationality or area they’re from here) bastards?” That would be good.


Although we were in there watching the game for over two hours, the ball was actually only in play for about 50 minutes because they love having ‘time-outs’ etc (so they can dish out more goodies to get the crowd excited). This was OK with me as this meant that the cheerleaders were introduced to do a little dance, although I probably took more pictures of their routines than a gentleman really should do when sitting next to their girlfriend.


Anyways, Toronto won 111 to 104, with the experience as a whole being quite exciting and something I’m glad we’ve done. Didn’t see any hint of English-style post-match violence (as there wasn’t a single away fan there), which is probably a positive thing. In fact, it was nice to see people of all nationalities, creeds and colours coming together to enjoy sport, something that is evidently a long way off from happening in England.

Jumped on the Subway with no hassle whatsoever and was home in time to catch some more of the absolutely awful Canadian television. Think we’re off to the zoo the morrow which’ll be fun and then on to whatever else tickles the fancy. Quite liking Toronto, very laid back, but still terrible fashion sense.

Day 13: Toronto

Didn't really do that much today, which was the idea after nearly two weeks of full-tilt travelling without a breather. Grabbed some breakfast in McDonalds (there's five on our street) and headed into the city centre which was packed full of shops and shopping centres. Spent a bit of time in the huge Eaton Centre and then decided to sit in a pub for a bit and decide the score.


Naturally, it was an Irish bar we ended up in (because we're in Canada!?) and actually got to watch some football (not soccer, not American football), yes football! Stoke v Newcastle in fact. What was probably a dire game to those at home seemed like the best thing since sliced bread to me (although I missed the goals), although the beer stung a bit at $8 a pop. Got talking to a friendly couple who talked us through what to see here. Doesn't sound much like those massive American cities we've been to, which is a good thing according to my poor legs.


Went and had a look at that CN Tower. Massive it is of course, but not a touch on the Empire State Building. Doesn't matter, we'll definitely be going up that tomorrow (as I wasn't willing to wait the 75 minutes they were quoting).

We've been banging on about seeing some American sports since we got here and today is the last game of the season for the famous Toronto Maple Leafs hockey team. No joy on tickets and touts (or scalpers as you call then here) wanted $150 a ticket. No ta. Ended up with tickets to see the Toronto Raptors v Philadelphia 76ers of the NBA in the final home game of the season at the impressive looking Air Canada Centre.


Still not quite sure what to make of Toronto. It's expensive that's for sure, Dog the Bounty Hunter is always on, people dress funny, there are millions of strip clubs and weed shops and it is practically impossible to buy alcohol in an off licence. Apparently only a select few outlets stock it (some stupid law over here) and it was a real trek to go and find it. My favourite sight of the day was a leather clad biker on a Harley looking stereotypically 'badass' playing out some tunes loud on his onboard speakers to let the street know of his prescence. Extreme's 'More Than Words' didn't quite cut it in my eyes though.
Off to drink that drink that took so long to find. Laters.

Day 12: Washington DC to Toronto

Long day that was. Got up early enough to be put on an early flight to Newark for our onward connection to Toronto. As the geezer was processing the flight change the Mexican dinner I'd had the day before decided it was going to strike me right at that moment. Let's just say I ended up just seconds from ending up with something extra to declare at customs. Poor Small Irish had to endure me running around the terminal like a mad man trying to find a toilet as plane tickets and passports were all over the place.

First flight took just 30 mins or so and we then hit the back of a massive queue at Newark security to transfer on to the Toronto flight. I hate flying, but I hate queuing even more. A ticketing error meant that I'd be sat on my own which I wasn't happy with, but the flight was ace. Sat on the wing (well, not literally) and got awesome views of Niagara Falls down below as we crossed the massive Lake Ontario.

First impressions of Toronto are that of an odd place where people dress badly, have the Queen on their money, speak French but also use an American accent. Odd, but exciting.

Day 11: Washington DC

Decided on an early start so we could get hold of the limited tickets to go up the Washington Memorial. We got there before 9.30am but found they’d already been handed out to the public. I’ve noticed a lot of German’s in the area during our stay, I can only imagine they got in first or one of the many tour groups came along and had off with them. Not to be put out, we decided to wait for the shit bus to pick us up and take us to the Jefferson Memorial. We waited 15 minutes at the designated stop and it drove straight past us. Nice one.


Still, it was a beautiful warm sunny day and the walk from the Washington Memorial to the Jefferson Memorial was worthwhile, with the boating lake that sits out the front of it lined by the pretty cherry blossom trees everyone is going mad for. The Jefferson Memorial was not really that different from the Lincoln one we saw yesterday, but still impressive nonetheless.


The shit bus managed to get us this time (and still had out of synch commentary) and took us up to my favourite part of Washington DC: The Arlington Cemetery. Some 350,000 people who have fought or served the country are buried here and to witness all those gravestones for as far as the eye can see is a very strange feeling indeed. We saw John F. Kennedy and his cursed family’s gravestones as well as those of the Unknown Solider (another one) and then a communal site for the Unknown Soldiers (yup plural). At the latter of these, the changing of the guard took place as soon as we arrived – a deeply fitting and typically patriotic act that took almost 15 minutes of slow ceremony. Good though it was.

From Arlington we jumped on the Metro and decided on something to eat. I managed to order my dinner OK, but their continued misunderstanding of my accent led to Small Irish getting a sandwich and not what I asked for (how do you confuse salad for tuna sandwich?) We then got coffee from Dunkin Donuts who also struggled with my accent (?) and laughed when I asked for a white and black coffee (!!!???).


Refreshed, we headed for the National Archives where America’s most important documents are stored. It took almost an hour to get to see those documents, but they were well worth the wait. Enclosed in a special room were the original copies of the Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights and the United States Constitution. Pretty impressive stuff, although I did panic when my camera flash shone on the Declaration of Independence (despite a million warnings about doing this to these documents!) I think we’re starting to suffer from American history overload, so it’ll be nice to get to Canada tomorrow.


With the night still warm, we decided to do a night time bus tour of the city. We had an hour to kill so tried for a beer in the bar only to be refused service as I didn’t look old enough!!! Hate it when that happens. Anyway, got the bus, saw the sights by moonlight and then jumped on The Metro to take us back to the hotel for a well-earned sleep.

Stormy weather is predicted for tomorrow, so could be in for a big pain in the arse getting to Toronto with a connection in Newark. Must go, as I am absolutely knackered.